Seahawks need to go heel

So football fans have been all in a uproar about the results of Monday Night Football. They’re saying that the replacement refs screwed up. That the Packers got a victory stolen. Backlash has been hard on the Seahawks, who have suddenly found themselves the most hated team in the league. This is distressing my wife, a Seahawks fan, who has been going so far as to say that maybe, just maybe, the Seahawks should do the right thing and give the victory back to the Packers.


If anything, I think that the Seahawks should act more like the villians. The NFL is starting to looks a lot more like pro wrestling. Fights are spontaneously breaking out on the field. Players are flopping like they’re injured to get a ref’s attention. Coaches — like Bill Belichek — are distracting the officials. The crowd is starting up “BULLS***!” chants like it’s the Brock Lesnar/Bill Goldberg match.

So why not borrow from the wrestling playbook and just go FULL ON HEEL?

1.) Russell Wilson needs to do a total heel turn. At the beginning of the season, everyone was jumping on this guy like he was their next golden boy. Bill Simmons rated him as his favorite QB. Everyone talked about how mature and confident he seemed. So it rang especially hollow during the post-game interview when Wilson was asked about the ending, and he gave the standard speech how everyone on the Seahawks gave it their all.

Total cocky heel speech. This reminds me of Rocky Maiva, when he went from the smiling blue chipper to the Most Electrifying Man in Sports Entertainment. Goody two-shoes Russell Wilson is boring. But a cocky Russell Wilson who greets the boos of fans from rival teams as if he were absorbing their hate to motivate him? While wearing $500 shirts and sunglasses? Tell me you don’t want to see this.

2.) Golden Tate needs to be sneakier. Tate pushing Shields for pass interference while grabbing the game winning touchdown? That’s more or less the equivalent of Triple H grabbing a sledgehammer, low-blowing Shawn Michaels while the ref ain’t looking, then going in for the cover. Awesome. This needs to happen more… and more blatantly while the ref is not looking. So next week’s game, I want Tate to straight up uppercut whoever the middle linebacker is on the St. Louis Rams. Or, I don’t know, run in the field during a play FROM THE SIDELINES to tackle a corner in the backfield.

By the way, that name? “Golden Tate”? That is TOTALLY a heel name the WWE would make up for one of their workers. Shoot, it’s right up there with “Dolph Ziggler.”

3.) Browner needs to wear a feather boa and flex before the camera. Seriously, this guy is a full on heel already. He drew like, what, 30 penalties or something? And every time, he had a villain sneer plastered on his face. He needs to take it to the next level to be more marketable. I mean…. seriously guys, there hasn’t been a Seahawks toy made by McFarlane since Shaun Alexander. At the same time, Roethlisberger gets seven or eight different releases. it pays to be the bad boy.

And finally…

4.) If all else fails, steel chairs. Seriously, there’s a ton of them on the sidelines. All you got to do is wait for the ref to look the wrong way….


Thoughts about the replacement official controversy

Some thoughts on the replacement officials:

You know, my biggest problem with the replacement officials is that the second level of verification — where the officials have to constantly confer with each other, and then check with the NFL rep — makes the game a huge slog.  I won’t dispute that there haven’t been controversial calls.  However, I’m not sure that it’s more than typical.  Seattle fans never forget that Super Bowl XL was won through shoddy officiating, and Chargers fans will never forget when a blown Ed Hochuli call cost them a game.

Peter King at SI mentioned that it’s the big games — the Monday Night and Sunday Night games — where the officials make the biggest errors due to pressure.  Perhaps.  But how much of perception is being guided by the people in the announce booth.  You know, the people who the viewers at home must rely on to interpret whether there was a proper call or not?  Throughout both the Sunday and Monday games, there was constant bickering about how the referees missed the obvious calls, and that it was to the detriment of the NFL.  How it was harming the product.

Here’s the thing, though: both teams employed a striking NFL referee to help interpret the play.  So how much of that interpretation itself is filtered through the eyes of a biased official?  You know, an official whose best interest it is to make the replacement referees look as incompetent as possible?  After all, the more the stupider the replacement refs look, the better they look by comparison.  It always annoyed me when Gruden or the other guy (can’t remember his name) would turn to the striking ref on call and ask him, “What did the replacement ref get wrong?”

There’s a lot of on-air hand wringing about how it’s not the replacement refs’ fault, they’re doing their best, yadda yadda yadda… but I’m wondering how much self-interest comes into play.

Example: the very controversial end of the Seattle-Green Bay game.  Gruden kept hammering how Seattle stole the game from Green Bay and it was the ref’s fault.  How Shields grabbed the ball and brought it to his body and by doing so picked up the interception.  I’d like to believe Gruden’s take on things… but the fact is that they have a striking ref on staff, and to me that already represents a biased view on things.  Is it possible to interpret the ruling — which was put under video review — to see that Golden Tate also had his hands on the ball, and he was the first to have his feet on the ground?  Perhaps… but none of that possibility was ever discussed beyond Gruden and friend groaning about “Green Bay was robbed, Green Bay was robbed, etc.”

Seahawks uniform Part Deux

I have to say, though, that when they alternate the pants and the jersey like this, it doesn’t look half bad. In fact, I’m starting to be won over.

Go Hawks!

This is the new Seahawks uniform, huh?


Go go Power Rangers.
Go go Power Rangers.
go go Power Rangers,
You Seattle Seahawks Power Rangers!

The Miami Marlins?

So wait… the Florida Marlins are now the Miami Marlins now? And they have a new oh-so-eighties design?

Why not go all the way and name them the “Miami Gators” so we can finally get that much anticipated World Series showdown from Back to the Future II?

Ah well… there’s still three more years! Get your self-tying shoes ready!

This is going to be a great Seahawks season…

… if only because our QB Matt Hasselbeck made a “surprise” appearance on South Park. (Not actually him or his voice, but a reasonable facsimile.)

Go Matt!