Ranking: the PAW Patrol


#1 CHASE

You cannot get better than the pup who is always on the case.  A favorite of princesses, a certified police officer, and an all around performer, Chase is pretty much the team’s backbone.  If you’re some mustachioed mayor you’d better pray that he’s not part of the three person squad sent to sniff you out.

#2 MARSHALL

While something of a bumbling buffoon, his skills are surprisingly versatile.  There’s the firefighting aspect, which is handy.  But need someone to paint something green or put some whipped cream on a sundae? Surprisingly you call the dog with the fireman hat.  I’m pretty sure the hose shoots actual fire, too, which would put him in Guy Montag territory.

#3 RUBBLE

Rubble’s gotta have some of the most destructive equipment, what with the shovel and drill and such… but he’s kind of square in the personality department.  Still, that catchphrase.  “On the double,” indeed.

#4 SKYE

This pup seems completely designed to give Tumblr conniption fits.  She’s the only girl on the squad.  She’s barely included in missions, unless it involves Sweetie who apparently is still allowed to live at the castle despite being a habitual traitor.  She has the least aggressive ability (flight) that all the boys have anyway.  And all her stuff is pink.  I haven’t checked, but I’m sure she’s launched nearly a hundred angry Jezebel thinkpieces.

#5 ROCKY

The favorite PAW Patroller of absolutely no one.  Basically the Hawkeye of the Avengers, only that guy’s power isn’t garbage collection.  Man, imagine the kid who gets this guy and his accessories as a birthday present.  I repeat: his vehicle is a garbage truck.  How did Everest — the snow and surf specialist — not make it on the regular squad… and yet they had room for the sanitation worker?

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