Internet, O Internet! Why do you fill me with regret?
I wish that I had never been on hand
To see the site that’s run by hardcore “fans.”
If they be fans, then why do they all grate?
For the only love they share is love for hate.
I wish I could toss you off the parapet.
You make me vomit Internet,
Internet, O Internet! Many troubles you beget.
The tendency towards groupthink makes me sick;
Now everyone online’s an armchair critic.
You try so hard to coin a snide aside,
But rarely insight do you e’er provide,
My throat is clenched, I always feel upset,
A pox be on you Internet,
Internet, O Internet! I wish your sites I’d never met.
I used to love this show with all my heart.
Your crotchety op-eds tore us apart.
Like grumpy old men you complain aloud,
Madly thrusting walkers to the clouds.
Al Gore, I want a tete-a-tete,
How dare you make the Internet,