An ode to crime dramas

Crime dramas, crime dramas, crime dramas, crime dramas.
I’m sick of ’em to the point of trauma.

On Hawaii Five-O, you can book it, Danno,
to a faraway island that I’ll never go.

Go tell Gibbs of NCIS
That his old man schitck is tiresome at best.

I’m so very sick of Rizolli & Isles
Milking every ep with their repressed denial.

And oh for a stiff mind-numbing beverage
If I have to watch yet another Leverage.

You’ve gone down hill fast, Mentalist,
Since you managed to botch your last twist.

In Plain Sight, White Collar, Castle;
Your cuteness is too much a hastle.

Cold Case, Blue Bloods, NCIS:LA;
Must we watch these shows all day?

And now Watson’s played by Lucy Liu?
TV, whatever did I do to you?

Second act corpse bathed in red;
Why isn’t half of New York dead?

One dead, two dead, three dead, four.
Not sure I can take it anymore.

Smug detectives, supercrimes.
Miscast actors most of the time.

It’s so much more than I can stand
While the remote’s in my wife’s hands.

— El Santo


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