Some thoughts about Wrath of the Titans

So when ads for Wrath of the Titans came out, I was all, “Wait.  There were people clamoring for a sequel for the first remake?”  Maybe they weren’t, since box office returns have been tepid so far.  And also they gave the job to the guy who did Battle: Los Angeles, which means they wanted to do the movie on the cheap.  And also that actress playing Andromeda didn’t come back, and was replaced by Rosamund Pike.  Granted, I really love Rosamund Pike ever since she showed up in the Pierce Brosnan Bond movie, “Die Another Day,” so I was cool.  It’s just that she just looks so different from the first Andromeda.  I spent the whole movie going, “Er, am I supposed to know who she is?  Was she the one that was supposed to be fed to the Kraken?”  (She was.)  “Why don’t I remember her, then?”

And compounding that issue was that they don’t really mention that she was the lady who was supposed to be fed to the Kraken.  Like, you’d think there would be a scene where she turns to Perseus and says, “Hey, thanks for swooping in and stopping me from becoming fish food,” but no.  But yeah, I love Ms. Pike, and I wish maybe they could retroactively replace the wooden actress from the first movie with her.  Hey, if George Lucas can digitally replace people in his old movies, then this should be cake!

I’m not a huge Sam Worthington fan, but I thought he did a fine job in this movie.  I give 100% credit to the glorious mullet he was styling.  If I remember the first movie, Sam Worthington was wearing an era inappropriate buzz cut.  Now he’s got these glorious curly locks going on, which makes his head look fuller, manly, more … Greek mythological hero.  He looked so different that I had to double check that they didn’t replace him with a different actor, too.  Maybe, um, Channing Potatum.

The movie’s been getting hammered in the reviews, but frankly I don’t think it’s as bad as people make it out to be.  Did you like the “GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra” movie?  If I remember, that got pretty decent reviews.  “Wrath of the Titans” is like that, only you get to see Cyclopses, a chimera, and the layrinth instead of, say, Destro and Cobra Commander.  It’s a movie where you turn your brain off to watch the spectacle.

Unfortunately, the one place I have to criticize is the ending.  It’s built up as a Last Stand of the Gods, with Zeus and Hades being pretty much the last two Olympians defending Earth from a resurgent Chronos and a turncoat Ares.  And … it’s really underwhelming.  The two are less Greek gods are more like the X-Men.  They have powers, but nothing that would make people quake in awe.  The most they ever use their lightning and … um … dust? … is to shove people around.  I mean, it’s ZEUS!  And HADES!  You know, the sort of people the Greeks shook in thier boots when they hear about them in legends?  They should be causing world cataclysms, not providing support to a mere demigod like Perseus.  Sheesh, no wonder people stopped worshipping them.  I guess that’s the limitation when you’re working with budget special effects…. wait.  This movie cost $150 million to make?  Where did that go?  Sam Worthington’s hair stylist?

So it ends with (spoilers) Perseus throwing a magic toothpick down Chronos’ throat, the era of the gods is over, yadda yadda yadda, the sequel better have Roman gods in it.  Maybe they’re resurrected from the Greek gods?  I am putting way too much thought into this.

But Liam Neeson is awesome as Zeus as usual, as is Ray… Ralph? … Feinnes as Hades.  If they ever get the opportunity to reprise those roles in other movies, say the Percy Jackson franchise, I say they go ahead and take it.  All in all, a decent “sit back and shut your brain off” movie until about the last 15 minutes.

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