Where be the sexy clown costumes?

Looking at this list of top Adult Costumes, it’s not difficult to imagine that the female version of these outfits are designed with “sexy” as the adjective: “witch,” “pirate,” “vampire,” “cat,” “angel,” and “nurse.” (Speaking of which …how long is it going to be since we’ve gone past the time that nurses can be considered sexy? Maybe it’s because I’ve hung around hospitals too much the last two years, but the modern nurse outfit is baggy, shapeless, and not at all atractive. And then there’s the everpresent smell of antiseptic, to boot. No, real nurses don’t strike me as sexy at all. And please don’t get uppity with me, medical types… more than half my relatives are nurses.)

But then there’s an intriguing challenge. Number 8 on the list of popular costumes is “clown.” It’s been said that any profession can be made sexy on Halloween night. Is it possible to make a “sexy clown” costume for the ladies? Doesn’t the clown ethic require baggy clothing and faces that look like they’ve been stricken by leprosy?

I mean, it’s not impossible for there to be a sexy clown. Observe:

However, the Halloween costume counterpart is quite underwhelming. Search online for “Batgirl,” “Supergirl,” or, heck, “Rainbow Brite” adult costumes, and you’ll quickly see that Harley Quinn is the friggin’ Mother Teresa of superhero/supervillain costumes.


This clown costume is no doubt sexy, yet it is distinctly lacking in the “clown” aspect. It actually looks like a half-hearted princess costume with red pom-pom buttons:

And this one is getting there, but not so much “sexy” as it is “lady from the bookmobile”:

So what about it, costume manufacturers? Is a sexy clown costume too much to handle? C’mon. Are you telling me the industry that brought us Sexy Aviator, Sexy Cruella Deville, and Sexy FBI Officer can’t give us a decent sexy clown?

(NOTE: By the way, #16 on the “Most Popular Adult Costumes” list is Sports Figure. Isn’t it the height of laziness to throw on a team jersey you already have and call it a costume? That’s not even a semi-decent last minute Halloween costume.)

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