Since Josh of Comic Curmugeon seems to be on a hiatus while doing “important” things (such as showing his mom a good time while she’s visiting, eh?) I thought I might take a one day stab at this whole business of comic snarkery. Of course, to do a straight up snark would be grounds for accusations of plagarism, so I leave the snarking to our special guest and “Who Wants to be a Superhero” correspondent: Squirrel Girl!
“Always a pleasure! Like that one song on the radio says, ‘Lets get this party started!'”
“Oh, my…. I don’t get this at all. Funky Winkerbean was following the story of that blonde kid getting a letter from his birth mother. And then… well, I’m not sure what happened. Who are those people in the first panel? Are they starting a new story? I don’t think they are, we’re back to the blond kid in panel two. Is this Mrs. Moore? I can never keep their names straight. They look familiar, though. I guess the cartoonist will explain eventually. I mean, if Funky Winkerbean is anything, it’s certainly not a show about nothing!”
“Now this is disturbing. John Patterson looks like he’s on the verge of a nervous breakdown. He should eat more nuts. Nuts have the oils and protein to give him energy!”
“Oh, this is scary! ‘Another awful show. Go home!’ Terrible threats like that can only be the works of a dastardly mind like Dr. Doom! Gail, if you need extra protection, I’ve beaten Dr. Doom before through sheer willpower and determination! If you can’t tell, I’m being sarcastic. Seriously, Gail, I loved Tarzana Nights, but you should chill the f**k out.”